My alternative Sexiest Man Alive list (Movies) – 2013

tomhiddlestonEvery year People magazine crowns their ‘Sexist Man Alive’ and almost every year I am left wondering what the hell they were thinking. No more so than this year, when the thorny crown was awarded to Maroon 5 front man and judge on one of the ubiquitous singing shows – Adam Levine. A bit of a departure for People – who usually crown more preppy, clean cut individuals (like last year’s Channing Tatum). But clearly either Levine’s publicists wined and dined the right People people, or they just chose to go in a slightly more grungy direction. Regardless, I am far from happy with their choice, so – like last year – I have compiled my own list. Unlike last year though there are two lists – one a movie star list and one a TV star list. It should be noted that there is some cross-over, as many on the TV list also appear in movies and vice versa, but I have put them in the bucket where I think they logically sit. In order to drag out the suspense, this week you get the movie list, and next week the TV one.

5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Joe made the list last year, in the wake of Inception, Looper and The Dark Knight Rises – and he stays in place this year, despite his directorial debut – Don John – not having made it to Kiwi shores yet. I have heard and seen enough good buzz about it though to warrant him a worthy inclusion. Add to that his continuing efforts to create an online collaborative TV show out of his Hit Record online adventures, and his general awesomeness at lip-syncing, and he is an obvious choice. Cute, funny, driven and a snazzy dresser – and we can even almost forgive his chain smoking. Almost…which is why he is only Numero 5.

4. Chris Hemsworth: The older Hemsworth has had a pretty huge year. Another outing as Thor – in what I would say was even a better film than the first (and also showcased his…ahem…’assets’ to marvellous effect…thanks for the gratuitous washing scene Marvel!) and a brilliant turn as Formula 1 driver James Hunt in Ron Howard’s Rush. The latter proved that he has some serious dramatic chops – and it isn’t all just muscles and long hair. He also appears to be a pretty humble, affable and amusing individual in real life – which is why I have made the outrageous choice to include an Australian on the list. Well done Mr and Mrs Hemsworth for having such good looking kids, is all I can say.

3. Aidan Turner: When I went to see The Hobbit last year I was keeping my eyes pealed for Richard Armitage – he of Spooks fame – who is a lovely gentleman to admire for 3 hours. But I found myself distracted my the young Irish lad playing Kili. I had also noticed him in person on the red carpet. Of course, as does happen, I then found myself investigating his back catalogue – and became addicted to the UK show Being Human, where he plays a vampire. It’s a great show and he is fantastic in it. If you like your talent slightly brooding and with a gravelly Irish accent, then Aidan is the man for you. Author of my current favourite novel – Daughter of Smoke and Bone – Laini Taylor has suggested Aidan as the lead when her book is adapted into film (currently underway) and I couldn’t think of anyone better to play a traumatised, love sick angel. Give him the role already I say. And in the meantime, off to The Hobbit Number 2 I go…

2. Ryan Gosling: Ah, Ryan. I don’t need to say a lot here. If you, for some unfathomable reason, don’t know who Ryan is – just go rent The Notebook, Crazy Stupid Love and Drive. Then you will understand. There is no mistaking me for a fan – given I possess a Ryan Gosling Tea Towel, Ryan Gosling colouring in book, and Ryan Gosling cut out book. All that is missing is the life size cardboard cut out. As always, Ryan has had a diverse year, appearing in hard core Only God Forgives (which even I couldn’t see given the violence levels), fantastic and epic The Place Beyond the Pines, and cop drama Gangster Squad. Next year sees his directorial debut – How to Catch a Monster – released. Yet more proof than the Baby Goose is more than just a pretty face.

1. Tom Hiddleston: Anyone who knows me well would have known this choice was a foregone conclusion. Hiddleston is much better known this year than last, thanks to yet another hilarious outing as Loki in Thor, as well as the lead role in Film Fest flick Only Lovers Left Alive. But it is Loki for which Hiddleston owes his huge and devoted fan following. This following saw him garner the number 2 spot on Empire Magazine’s 50 Hottest Men in Hollywood list, which is no mean feat for a relative unknown. He was beaten by another fan favourite Benedict Cumberbatch. Both share a similar appeal I think – very intelligent, articulate, tall Englishmen with a propensity for combining block buster roles with more off beat fare. For me it is no contest though – I will always be a Hiddlestoner rather than a Cumberbitch. If you are wondering why, check out Tom chatting with Cookie Monster about delayed gratification, Tom Hiddleston dancing, or Tom Hiddleston just being Tom Hiddleston, and you might begin to understand. He is destined for great things, trust me…

Other honourable mentions this year – Woody Harrelson (yes, I said Woody Harrelson) for his repeat turn as Haymitch in the Hunger Games: Catching Fire – and his generally hilarious approach to life in general; Casey Affleck for being the far hotter, in my humble opinion, Affleck (and am I the only one thinking his appearance as Robin in Superman v Batman would be simply brilliant?); and George Clooney for continuing to make getting older look good and making getting lost in space not seem an entirely depressing experience.

Tune in next week to see who on the small screen warrants my undivided attention…you may be surprised 😉

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